Now that Lucas Pérez is back in Spain, things are going a bit better for him.
The forward first made his name at Deportivo La Coruña before moving to Arsenal for £18m, but that didn’t go well, and he was offloaded to West Ham two years later for a measly £4m.
That also wasn’t a success, which led to a return to his home country 11 months later, with Alavés paying the Hammers just £2m for the now 31-year-old.
Fortunately for them, it was money well spent, as he’s been in great form this season in La Liga, finding the back of the net seven times in his first 13 league games, as well as picking up two assists.
A fan favourite already, Pérez was asked to give advice to members of a new academy, and one of his key messages was the cliché to ‘stay in school’.
He’s right of course, but the example he gave to convince them perhaps wasn’t his greatest moment.
Look, we’re all for a bit of a sob story at Sport Witness, but as sob stories go, this just doesn’t hit home.
Surely Pérez has a phone, which, in turn, can have a translator on it to ask for paracetamol or aspirin (which are pretty much the same words in every language)?
Worst case scenario, just turn up to the pharmacy, point to your head and say ‘Owwie’. They’ll understand.
And if you’re *really* struggling, just ask West Ham, because they’ll have some in a cupboard somewhere.
It’s aspirin, not morphine…
