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Nick Woltemade has quickly become one of the most likeable players in the Premier League. The affable German arrived in a big money move from VfB Stuttgart in the summer, after the Magpies had struggled to find a striker.

Unlike some other big money arrivals to the Premier League, Woltemade has hit the ground running. The 23-year-old has four goals to his name so far and is clearly happy.

Bayern Munich have continually been sending messages via the German media, with a clear saltiness after they lost out. The Bundesliga champions thought Stuttgart would crumble as the window went on, but they didn’t bargain for Newcastle United arriving.

The snipes sent since – including the idiot jibe – have felt uncomfortably cringeworthy.

Woltemade mad his senior Germany debut earlier this year, before dropping down to perform well at the U21 championships. He then went straight back to the senior side and is in the current squad.

Except he’s not there… he’s still in Newcastle.

DFB, Germany’s version of the FA, report Woltemade has a ‘flu-like’ illness and hasn’t been able to join up with the squad yet. Eddie Howe will probably prefer his new star man to stay where he is.