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Paul Pogba is a Manchester United player. It’s not 100% official, but when the club’s website decide to create a #POGBACK hashtag and announce a medical for the player, you’d think it’s on the right track.

Signing from Juventus for a reported £85-90m depending on who you believe, the French midfielder is returning to his former club, probably due to a feeling of unfinished business (and money, lots of it).

Other than José Mourinho’s new team, Real Madrid were also said to be very much in favour of signing the 23-year-old, but, for once, they missed out on the most expensive player of all time.

This has, obviously, caused a bit of stir in the Madrid friendly press, and Bernabeu Digital, who seem to be as pro-Real as possible (it’s in the name, really) have published a list of reasons (we say excuses) as to why their beloved team didn’t get the man they wanted.

There’s five reasons altogether, and we’ll give you a brief rundown below:

1. Mino Raiola, Pogba’s agent, wanted too much money: BD (as they’ll be called from now on) say the Dutchman will earn about €25m from the deal; a fee Real Madrid weren’t prepared to pay. They also add Raiola’s ‘friendship’ with Mourinho helped the deal go through, making negotiations ‘easy’.

2. Manchester United made the deal more expensive: BD claim Pogba and Zidane had a verbal agreement, and the Premier League club made the deal €30-40m more expensive than was previously planned at the Bernabeu. They also say Adidas got involved to get it to happen, seemingly forgetting that Madrid are also sponsored by the German brand.

3. Pogba’s wage: The Frenchman wanted to play under Zidane, but Mourinho’s phone calls and willingness to triple his salary made the difference, with Real’s offer far from the €12m/year offered by United.

4. James’ reluctance to leave: Without his (or Isco’s) departure, Real couldn’t really afford to have another midfielder in their squad, or the transfer fee, for that matter.

5. BD end by saying all of the above adds up to one thing: €145m is too much, and because of that, Pogba waves ‘au revoir’ to his dream of playing for Madrid.

Basically, it seems Real Madrid were outbid, and people around the club are clutching at straws to explain why.

“We let this one slip right through our fingers, lads, but only because we took the executive decision to stick our hands in a tub of olive oil beforehand”.

That’s what it sounds like, anyways.