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Our favourite Don Balon imagirumour (that’s a new word right there) of the past week is perhaps them claiming Florentino Perez has contacted Phil Foden about a move to Real Madrid having picked him out personally, but this one runs it a close second.

It’s so complicated we’re going to use bullet points.

Ready?

Here goes…

  • Luis Suarez has warned Barcelona of a €100m Manchester United swoop.
  • Suarez knows ‘the movements of the market’ and doesn’t want his club to be caught out.
  • Florentino Perez is set to move for David De Gea in a €100m transfer.
  • Manchester United don’t want to sell but that amount brings a temptation.
  • Jose Mourinho would then move for a new goalkeeper, ‘and the big favourite is Marc-Andre Ter Stegen’ who the club would invest the €100m De Gea money in.
  • This has all led to Suarez’s ‘very serious warning’ to Barcelona to be prepared for a Manchester United move for the keeper.

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There’s so many questions, firstly, since when was Luis Suarez the know-all of the European rumour mill?

Has he read it all on Don Balon and then run to Barcelona president Josep Maria Bartomeu?

Have Don Balon used Suarez specifically for extra spice given his past with Manchester United?

Is the picture above of Suarez, during the match against Chelsea, the moment the Barcelona player thought ‘S***, Courtois is having a shocker, Madrid will move for De Gea, and then Man United will try and take Marc Andre, I better warn the board’?

We’ve got a headache, and Don Balon have clearly got an endless supply of San Miguel.